It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
