Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
