I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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