but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
