im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
