well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize