Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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