ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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