Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
