We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
