I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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