ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
