GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
