The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
