I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
