Your dad touched me again.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
