Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize