Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
