I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
