So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
