i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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