If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize