You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
