She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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