you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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