I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
