out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
