You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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