Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
