I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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