I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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