Sry I called you an 8
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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