Nicole vs. Life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
