he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize