look no pants
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
