Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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