Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
