Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
