i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
