Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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