Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.

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(661): View more from California

His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face

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(860): View more from Connecticut

He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

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(770): View more from Georgia

Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the camel was justified in biting me.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.

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(702): View more from Nevada

We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.

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