When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
