When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
