I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
