carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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