I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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