Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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