I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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