This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
