i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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