Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
