I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
