I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
