yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
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I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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