That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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