He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
