and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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