i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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